"It's by knowing who we are, and accepting this with compassion, that we grow as people and as writers."
-Dennis Palumbo
For some, this makes total sense. For others, it can be one of the most boggling things you can come across. If you are part of the latter group of people; you are a writer. Point blank. And by now, thoughts like these are probably bouncing across your skull;
"Okay, I get the whole 'knowing who I am' bit. But what does that have to do with the fact that, at this current moment, I'm writing about animate gargoyles in a fantasy universe?"
"How does knowing how I am help my writing exactly? Not all my characters are based on me. I think."
"What if I don't like who I am at the moment? I'm so useless, I'm having one of those blocks again. I'm never going to finish this book."
"Grow as writers? No. People who publish books grow as writers."
"I'm screwed."
I've had a couple of those thoughts and questions circulate my mind at different times. They often weak my ability to do anything. Stop me from moving, sometimes even breathing and, the most vexing of them all, stop me from typing. I would sit there in front of the PC, fingers knotted under my chin and curse the day I ever believed I could be a writer. How could this be so hard? It seemed so easy an idea to execute just a minute ago. How come the words don't just flow? Oh no, I don't know enough words! Let me go and engulf an entire dictionary.
And you wonder why I'm still alive today? Well, I'll let you in on my worst-kept secret of all time (I say 'worst-kept' because I practically let the entire neighbourhood know), this book helped me A LOT.
Dennis Palumbo is an author and a psychotherapist. And I thank God often and not enough that his life turned out the way it did. Because if it didn't, I would have not been saved by the likes of him and his miracle book, and most likely would have run headlong into a wall out of sheer frustration. Writing is definitely not an easy task for writers. The same way making art is not an easy task for artists. It's funny how your 'calling' in life can often look like the road to your demise. I felt like this in many instances. And at intervals, I would leave my projects altogether. Until one day it hit me that I wasn't making any progress at all.
That's when I dug into my father's pockets to seek the much help I needed. I needed some fresh perspective. And so I bought this book on Kindle--with his credit card. The funny thing of it all is that I just happened upon this book out of urgency. I was in a hurry to get help. To see if there was anyone out there with any resemblance to the problems I was having. Truth be told, the title is what got this book sold. It was very to-the-point. And as you might imagine, I was very much in a 'no-bull' mood. I had no time for cryptics and deciphering what titles meant. So I purchased the book with 1-click. Done, but not quite dusted. It was up to the book to be my salvation. Or else. And there was only one way of finding out if it was going to be just that. Or else.
All I can say is that I don't remember how it began and I don't remember how it ended. I just remember being floored. My eyes flooding with tears of understanding. Butterflies of inspiration in my stomach. This book offered me a much needed breath of, well, breath. I could finally inhale and not forget to exhale. Finally, a book that made me realise that I wasn't a giant waste of non-talent about the earth. That I was, in fact, wasting a talent that the world needs to be exposed to by not writing. That my fears and worry's where often misplaced or not even necessary.
Palumbo offers numerous and humorous anecdotes and accounts of writers struggles with writing. Even some of his own. Whether you are an expert or an amateur, this book caters to all. Even if you have never written a page in your life, you will still find something worth your while in here. He covers topics from Procrastination and the infamous Writer's Block, the mothers of all evils in my opinion, to reluctantly omitting the pieces you hold dear and worked hard on. I like to think of this book as a sort of a "Trail-Mix", a little bit of sustenance on the lengthy road to your destination--Finishing your book. Like most Trail-Mixes, you will have your favourites and your not-so-favourites, this book is the same. Not in the way that some topics or sections are not helpful, but in the way that the subject material is not exactly desirable. Like the prospect of setting deadlines for yourself and cutting out a piece in your writing that happens to one of your cherished few. Even if you don't like raisins, they are still nutritious. This book teaches and advises you to eat that blasted raisin and wait until the M 'n M's come. And they will come. Trust me. Nothing in this whole world is worth having if there wasn't some sort of struggle behind it. Because otherwise you learn nothing. And as writers, learning is part of our everyday job.
I sound quite the Buddha, don't I? It's the book. Along with teaching how to harness inspiration and teaching me how not to stress, it's afforded me the ability to harness sage wisdom out of absolutely nowhere. I'm quite the moron now. And as long as I am one with my self, compassionate with myself, and am able to write things I'm satisfied with, I'm wholly happy with who I've become. Like the saying I just made up says, "Give me moron, or give me death." I'm no one if I, myself, think I'm worthless. Better to be a moron than to whip myself until there's absolutely nothing left to whip. No whipping into shape. No whipping at all in fact. Just writing and accepting and appreciating.
That's all I ever needed. The opportunity to weave out of difficult situations with finesse instead of giving them up completely. The opportunity to know and accept who I am and let that incorporate into my books. And if all goes well, all of that will come with a wad of cash as a bonus.
Thank you God for creating Dennis Palumbo.
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